despite 2 years of being Secretary General & 2 years of being Chair, i still feel super socially awkward in certain situations. it sucks. i know, i argue that EVERYONE is somewhat socially awkward, but i just feel so inadequate in public sometimes. in particular, with women. everything just changes. i don’t feel comfortable. i get super self-conscious. i wanna just run away screaming. it’s ridiculous. but it’s real.
the usual relief of this is alcohol. but then you develop a more serious, dangerous problem sometimes.
the social pressures of impressing others is tiring. why is being yourself so hard?